What is bullying?

Bullying is the repeated use of power or force to hurt or bother someone. It is thus based on an imbalance of power.

Bullying is a form of aggression that unfolds within a relationship. The child who bullies uses aggression and control to maintain a position of power over the victimized child. As bullying evolves over time, the power dynamics and inequality in the relationship become stronger. The victimized child gets caught in an abusive relationship. This problem can also happen between groups of young people.

The basic elements of bullying are:

Teasing, rough housing or even play fighting are not considered bullying when both parties are willing participants.

Straight to the heart. Like all forms of violence, bullying is serious and may have many consequences — for victims, aggressors, and witnesses.

The fight against bullying

BULLYING, for any reason is UNACEPTABLE.  Whether its name-calling, teasing, exclusion, physical abuse, threats or cyber-bullying, the harm bullying can cause is very serious. No matter which way you go about it to attend to the prevention, see the elimination of bullying, here are some key messages that we need to remember:

Who is at risk?

Everyone is at risk. Our communities should encourage children and teenagers to be open and to embrace the differences found within our lives.

Why you? Yes, it could have been someone else. Maybe you were just with the wrong people in the wrong place at the wrong time.

There’s an excuse for everything... and they’re all bad. Bullies will claim to have lots of excuses for doing what they do. If you’re being bullied, it doesn’t mean that you are more “this” and less “that” than anyone else. No one’s perfect — not you, not the person who’s bullying you, not anyone. Everybody has their little faults.

How does bullying change with age?

As children get older, the type and range of bullying behaviours increase. The nature of bullying often reflects important developmental changes and challenges. While physical, psychological and social bullying are present in children as young as four years old, other bullying behaviours emerge only as children move toward adolescence. For example, sexual harassment and dating aggression typically begin in middle school and increase in the high school years when youth are experiencing physical changes and becoming interested in dating. Although individual patterns of aggression vary, the following table indicates general types of bullying behaviour for youth in middle school and high school.

Types of bullying by age

What are some of the types of bullying?

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying refers to the use of communication technologies (e-mail, cell phones, Internet sites and instant messaging) to physically threaten, verbally harass or socially exclude an individual or group. Using these technologies to distribute damaging messages and pictures allows bullies to remain anonymous and bullying to become widespread.

How many youth are involved in bullying others?

Boys

Girls

How many teens are bullied?

Boys

Girls

Ethnoculturally-based bullying

How many teens witness bullying?

Not all youth are directly involved in bullying incidents, but many get involved in other ways – some watch, some encourage the bullying and some try to stop it./p>

When other children intervene – more than half the time, the bullying will stop within
10 seconds! – Hawkins, Pepler & Craig, 2001

Let’s fight bullying

What to do if you (or someone you know) is being bullied

The first priority is always your safety. Remember that you do not deserve to get bullied and that you should concentrate your efforts on finding a solution and not blaming yourself.

VHere are some strategies for you to consider.

Feel like you’re the only one? If you’re experiencing bullying, you may feel like you’re the only one that this has happened to. But there are ways to break this feeling of isolation.

Someone who is experiencing bullying will not necessarily be a victim all their life. On the other hand, bullying can lead to deep scars that can last for some time.

Everyone reacts differently, but you may:

The most damaging thing for you is when cyber-bullying has real-life consequences:

Magic solutions for avoiding bullying situations don’t exist.
One method may be effective in one situation but ineffective in another. The important thing is to never let your problem make you isolated, and to choose a way to end the bullying. You can’t stop the rain from falling, but you can certainly get out of the rain.

Remember that::

Stand up for yourself! Standing up for yourself is not the same thing as hurling insults at people and being a bully yourself. It’s clearly expressing that you won’t stand for what’s going on. It’s showing that you find the situation unacceptable. Standing up for yourself is doing something to get out of your situation.

Act sure of yourself. Being bullied shakes a person’s self-confidence. You might find it difficult to act sure of yourself. But paying attention to your posture, tone of voice and the way you talk to people can make a difference!

Like water off a duck’s back. When a person bullies you, they’re trying to get you to react. Sometimes, the thing to do is to continue with what you were doing, and ignore the other person and what they’re doing. On the other hand, if they resort to physical violence, you can’t choose to ignore it. You have to act.

Your personal alarm system..  Trust your instincts. You’re certainly the person who best knows what situations are most likely to result in bullying. Do you often find yourself in unmonitored places, or with people you don’t know well and don’t trust? Do you listen to your “personal alarm system” that warns you of danger?

The code of silence. Isolating yourself and keeping silent doesn’t usually make people stop bullying you. If you don’t say anything, your friends and acquaintances won’t know anything and can’t help you. You have to break the silence and talk about it. You can talk to an adult you know — they can help you find ways to protect yourself and end an unacceptable situation.

What to do if you witness bullying

A witness to bullying, even if they are not directly concerned, may feel ill at ease in such situations.

Being a witness may lead you to:

Witnessing a bullying situation or learning that a violent situation has occurred or been repeated can be very disorienting. You should always remember that while you can do lots of thing for a friend or other person affected by bullying, it’s not your job to be their saviour. You have your own limits. You can’t take on responsibility for making everything better.

Witnessing bullying may put you through all sorts of emotions. You need to take care of yourself — make sure that you talk to someone about it. There are ways to help the person who experienced the violence, whether they're a friend or someone else, while respecting your own limits. You shouldn’t hesitate at all to get support from an adult you trust, either to help you help a friend or help you cope with this situation. Also,

You commit acts of bullying

If you sometimes exhibit bullying behaviour towards others, take the time to reflect on the possible consequences:

Questioning yourself. Although violence may allow you to obtain what you want, you nevertheless lose something. Violence always ends up having unpleasant consequences for everyone concerned.

Your gains versus your losses. You may be losing more by continuing to be violent than by changing. Identify:

Problem resolution. If you want to learn how to express what you feel in acceptable ways rather than through bullying, you need to:

You have a role to play

Whether you are being bullied or you are a witness, you have a role to play.

Talk about it. Silence is an attacker’s biggest ally. Some people may go to extreme lengths to preserve that silence! As long as people stay silent, attackers remain safe from all consequences, violent acts may continue, and the number of victims may increases.

Ratting someone out versus asking for help. There’s a difference between ratting someone out - that is, revealing information in order to harm or punish someone (being a stool pigeon) - and talking about a situation in order to receive help or help someone else. In summary, talking about a situation allows:

Talking about things may sometimes be very difficult because the victim:

Better late than never. . It can take some time before some people are ready to talk about a violent situation like bullying. Some people make this choice several years after the attack, in order to free themselves of a burden that has become too heavy for them to bear.

Adults helping youth: Practical advices

The young person who comes to you for help may need some reassurance along with practical advice on what to do. You could try some of the following, using your judgement about the particular circumstances:

If the teen is being bullied, you can suggest:

If the teen sees someone being bullied, you can suggest:

Some assurances you can give to the teen:

Your role: How adults can help

Bullying is not a problem that youth can solve themselves. It is a power struggle that is difficult to change without the help of an adult. In most cases, it will require only a few minutes to stop the behaviour, especially if you act immediately and in a consistent manner.

If you are there when the bullying occurs, talk with the youth who are being aggressive. Explain the hurt they are causing and have them make amends to those who were harmed. This can break the cycle.

However, most bullying happens when you are not looking. When you are told about it, take it seriously since young people usually go to adults with these problems as a last resort.

In a small number of cases, bullying behaviour is a chronic problem requiring the involvement of families and the assistance of a health professional.

If you are a parent or guardian

If you are an adult responsible for young people (e.g. a teacher or coach)

If you are an adult responsible for young people (e.g. a teacher or coach)

This advice was compiled from a variety of resources on bullying and is to be taken only as guidance on how to deal with most bullying-related problems. For additional guidance, please consult the resources cited at the end of this information sheet or consult a person you trust.